Pre-Morning Walk Conversation by Kate (with some Fondue interjections)

The human talks to us a lot.  Most of the time we have no clue what she is yammerin' on about.  Sometimes we watch her body language and listen for the word "bad" or "good" and that will help us out.  This morning, I was a bit clueless.  She's blabbering while she's getting ready for our walk.  Does she really think this is the time to have a convo?

I was sitting on the rug waiting for her to "get ready" for the walk.  I swear, why does it take so long for her to be ready for the walk.  I hop half way off the couch, get in a really good stretch and boom...I am ready to go.  Well, I would be if it wasn't followed by what feels like forever as I follow the human around the house.  I add a little happy dance and excited wiggles thinking that will make her move faster, but it doesn't work.  The thing that drives me crazy is watching her play with those things she put in her ears.  It resembles her tying her shoes, but the exact opposite.  She gets frustrated sometimes and I don't understand why.  Just put them in your ears so we can go - who cares if they are all waded up.  I know I don't.

So, back to this morning.  I had one of those moments that causes all kinds of emotions from the human.  Sometimes there is a sound and other times I am unaware until one of two things occur.  Either I get a wiff of a splendiferous aroma or the human gets very animated and here is what I hear.  "blaaaahhh, KATE, blah blah blah blah?  BLAH!" [human translation - Ugggghhhh, KATE, what did you eat?  GAG!]  This morning I hear Kate with a long string of words.  All I could think was, "please stop talking and let's go!" [human translation - Kate, don't just sit there and fart.  Go outside and go to the bathroom.  Don't wait until we get on the walk just so that I have to pick it up! Dang it, how come these earphones are always so tangled!]

We FINALLY went on the walk.  With the new leashes, I don't get to sniff as much as I would like and if I have to go to the bathroom, I have to signal the human so that she will stop.  Today, I didn't feel like stopping because she was so determined to walk.  I decided to wait until I got back to the house to do my business.  And, for some reason, I am picking up a vibe that the human is happy about that.  For the life of me, I cannot figure that one out.